Almost a year

I cannot believe that in less than a month my baby is turning a year old. And I realize that I haven't been too diligent in keeping up with this blog. The past year has been indescribable. Challenging at times but simply amazing. Gavin is becoming such a little man. He is a sponge that literally soaks up something new every day. He is crawling everywhere and has started to cruise along the couches. Still hesitant to take some steps but I have a feeling that will change very soon. He is fearless which means I cannot let him out of my sight for a second. Today he climbed halfway up the stairs (with me right behind him) to get a much desired cat toy. He has 4 teeth on top and 4 on the bottom and I think a molar is slowly making it's appearance (hence the crankiness). In January he came down with an awful cold/respiratory infection/RSV. It was a scary time. He ended up in the ER due to low oxygen levels and breathing issues. He was on a nebulizer for months and still is experiencing loud breathing. He has been to 2 pulmonologists and we still have no diffinitive answers as to the cause of his loud breathing. One dr. is leaning towards allergies and basically said I need to chill. Hard for me to do especially as a first time mom. He is thriving though in every way so the drs. don't seem concerned. He has yet to find a food he doesn't like. His new thing is to scream when the food stops coming. I swear he is an endless pit. He is babbling a few words here and there, waving, clapping. I am trying to break him of his paci (hate) obsession because I think it may be hindering him talking more. I say to him you don't need that stinky binky and he hands it to me. Of course there are days like today when he was super needy and cried every time I put him down and tried to do something real fast that it came in handy. I am hoping this sudden phase of crying ends soon. Real soon! He is weighing in a little over 24 pounds and is about 29 inches long. He has evened out and has leveled out. Eric and Gavin are doing a Saturday morning swim class at the Y which he loves. He loves water of any sort. We bought a blow up baby pool and he loves, loves, loves it along with his new swingset. I don't know where this past year has gone. I feel like I blinked my eyes and here we are almost a year later. I see what people mean now when they say how fast it goes.

Blessed

Every day I want to pinch myself because I still can't believe Gavin is really here. After all we went through I can't stop feeling incredibly blessed. It pains me to see others take their children for granted and I hope I never do. I have to say I'm not sure if it's because of our journey but Gavin is such a happy go lucky baby. I'm also hoping I didn't just jinx myself! I definitely have the mommy guilt and hope that I am doing things right. When I see the constant smile on his face it gives me a little reassurance that I am. Of course there are still some people who want to put their two cents in and say how things should be but I'm doing with feels right for us and so far things have been working out ok.
Gavin officially has 2 teeth on the bottom and 3 are SLOWLY making their presence known on the top. We had a few rougher nights when I think he was in pain and extra needy. He is sitting up on his own now (with a pillow behind his head...just in case). He isn't crawling yet but does do a 360 turn on his belly and pushes across the floor backwards on his belly. He has definitely found his voice and loves to scream. He puts a smile on my face every single day and the best is hearing him giggle at things such as a cough or hiccup. He lets out such belly laughs and they are the greatest! My in-laws bought him a car that you push him in for xmas and he loves it. He sits there with one arm on the wheel and one arm on the back as though he is cruising for the ladies. He's going to be a heartbreaker! Developmentally he seems right on track. Weighs in at about 22 pounds but is a tall boy too. He started off big and his weight seems to be leveling off now that he is more active. He loves playing with all his toys and I am amazed that he is already able to pick up how his toys actually work.
We started him on solid foods and he LOVES them which I didn't doubt he would. I'm still nursing him and while I would love to stick out until he is a year I am not sure how long I'll go. It's a much different ballgame when teeth are involved. Ouch! Sleep is going ok. Naps could be better. Unfortunately he sleeps the best while napping on me which I've found to be a hard habit to break. I keep telling myself that soon enough he isn't going to want his mommy to hold him so I'm taking advantage of it while I can. I have him on a flexible schedule and some days he is in agreement and other days he is not!
I'm just enjoying watching him evolve into this little man. I am loving motherhood. It has it's challenges but it is the most rewarding experience I've ever had.

Where has the time gone?

Wow, I can't believe it's been 5 months since Gavin was born. The time is going by so quickly and I wish I could slow it down. The little man amazes me each and every day and I am so in love. He makes me smile all the time. I am loving motherhood. It has been the hardest, most challenging and most rewarding job I have ever had and I cannot imagine going through life not experiencing this.
He is a healthy boy weighing in now at around 22 pounds and 26+ inches long. I am amazed at how many strangers would come up to me, ask his age and proceed to tell me how huge he is. I'm getting better at not letting their comments get to me and realize that he is a healthy, big boy. He has consistently been in the 95th percentile or higher for weight and length even when he was born. His drs. aren't concerned since he has consistently been in that percentile. I was worried that his size would delay his reaching certain milestones. While he is not too interested in rolling over he is now sitting up on his own, pushing up, talking up a storm and in general is a very happy go lucky little guy. He is always smiling and for the most part not a big crier (although as I sit and type this he has woken up twice already from going down for bed which is a rarity and is crying). He is cutting 2 teeth (which could explain his waking up and fussines). He is definitely finding his voice. He loves screaming at the top of his lungs and then laughing. He screams and talks so much during the day that he is now wearing himself out. We recently started him on rice cereal which he is loving. The drs. recommended waiting until 6 months to start solids because they believe there is a lesser chance of developing allergies. So we started at 5 months and are going to slowly introduce new foods. He loves being outside in the fresh air and up until the weather got colder we would take daily walks. He unfortunately has outgrown his infant seat which most babies fit in up until at least 9 months so we had to buy a new carseat. I loved being able to pop the seat out with him in it and carry it so this will be an adjustment having to actually take him out now. It's going to suck more when he has fallen asleep especially now that the weather is colder.
I am looking forward to watching him grow and mature into a little boy. I wish I could freeze time some days. I love watching him with Eric and wish they had more time together. He has brought more joy into my life than I thought possible and I truly feel life is complete. I would take this journey all over again just to wake up to his smiles every morning.

The "G" Man has arrived

My official due date, June 13, came and went with no sign of Gavin...everyone I knew who was due after me had their baby which was hard! I just wanted to see him already! I went to the dr. the Thursday after my due date and I was still only 1cm dialated so she wanted to induce me. She said we could do Friday if there was a slot or Monday. When she said Friday I sort of freaked out. I knew the day was here and the inevitable was going to happen and I was scared. The hospital didn't have room until Tuesday morning. On Monday night I went to the hospital at 6:30pm so they could insert the gel to start induction. It took a good hour and a half because Gavin's heartrate was sporadic and they needed it to stabilize. Finally by 8:00pm they were able to insert it. They monitored me and him until 9pm and sent me home since I was 1cm and had no reaction. When I got home I started having mild cramping which is normal. By 11pm I was in bed and felt a POP...my water broke. I called the dr. and they said to come back...why they didn't just keep me in the first place?!? So we went back and I was now 3 cm. I laid there for a couple of hours and the contractions started to increase. They were waiting for a L and D room to open since it was a busy night. Once I was in the room I couldn't take the pain and requested an epidural. I was petrified about getting this but it really wasn't bad at all. Once that was in the pain subsided and I tried to get some rest. I did have a bad reaction to the medicine and threw up when it was increased. I tried to sleep for most of the day to prepare for what was to come. By 3pm on Tuesday, June 23 the dr. checked me and I was totally dialated plus 1 and fully effaced. It was time to push!!! My sister-in-law was with Eric and I and was an incredible help. Between Eric and Jill I was able to stay relatively calm and peaceful. Everytime a contraction came on I would push. I pushed for 3 hours. The nurse kept saying I was making progress and she could see his head. I just needed to get it over the bone. Then the dr. would check me and say I wasn't any different from before! ARGH! At this point I was exhausted from lack of sleep and from pushing for 3 hours. The dr. said a C-section would be my best option. I told Eric going into the hospital that this would be how it would all play out and low and behold it was. They increased the pain killers again since they decreased it so I could feel when I needed to push. This made me throw up again. They wheeled me into the OR and prepped me for the C. The whole thing took less than 30 minutes and at 7:01 Gavin entered the world. He weighed in at 10 pounds, 4 ounces and was 22 inches long. I heard him cry and the tears started to flow. They thought he may have had an infection and his blood sugar level was low so they had to whisk him away. Jill was able to bring him over to me to see him before they did this. The medication and hormones made me shake uncontrollably so I wasn't able to hold him. I went to the PACU and at 11pm I was finally able to see my son and hold him. It was simply incredible. Eric and I stayed in the hospital until Friday and requested to leave a day early. The nurses weren't that helpful and at that point I was ready to go home and get us all settled.
The first few days/nights were definitely an adjustment. I don't think anything can prepare you physically or mentally to be a parent. The lack of sleep has been hard but we are adjusting. Breastfeeding has been going well. He had his first checkup and he has put weight on. He is almost back to his birth weight which surprised the dr. It was nice to know I'm doing something right! Everytime I look at him I am simply in awe. I can't believe he is really here and after all these years feel so blessed to finally be a mom. It's an feeling I can't even describe...truly a miracle and a blessing.

Less than a week! How crazy!

So my due date is less than a week away. I'm having a flood of different emotions. Nerves are kicking in more but so is the excitement. In a way it is bittersweet. Part of me realizes that this could potentially be my only pregnancy and I am just so grateful that I was able to experience this. I'm so shocked at how many people are asking when we will try again and that we can't just "have an only child". I guess some family and friends don't remember that it took almost 6 years to get to this point. My concern is getting him here safe and healthy...not about having another child! My heart breaks for my friends who continue to struggle with infertility. It is just so unfair that they are struggling when so many others do not and so many others take for granted being pregnant without even "trying". If they only knew how blessed they truly were....what is hard as well is without the support of these friends I wouldn't be where I am today. They stuck by me and helped me up when times were so hard. I can't even find the words to say thank you...they know who they are....thank you, thank you, thank you.
Right now I'm just waiting. Waiting for him to make his appearance. My appt. last week didn't show much progress and I go again this Wednesday. I guess when he is ready he'll let me know! I feel good overall. Still a little swollen but if that is the worst of it I'll take it. Sleeping is what it is...no comfortable way but a little sleep is better than none! Plus, it is preparing me for the feedings every 2 hours.
Hopefully the next time I write he'll be here. Just praying all goes well, he is ok and I'm ok. Guess that is all I can ask for at this point! Stay tuned!!

The final stretch....

I can't believe that I am in the final month. The weeks were feeling like they were moving slowly but these past 2-3 weeks have seemed to fly by. My due date is June 13 so less than 4 weeks to go. Crazy!!
Eric and I completed the childbirth class along with the breast feeding class and survived (I knew I would-he was questionable)! I am feeling excited to meet Gavin but definitely have some anxiety at the same time. I am nervous about the pain of labor and the unknown. Part of the downfall of being home is my unlimited access to the Internet. I need to stop reading articles! I just need to know that he is healthy...that is my biggest wish...to have a healthy, bouncy boy. They say that there are increased risks of birth defects in babies conceived through IVF which is where some of that fear is coming from and the risks are increased in boys for some reason. But, we've gotten this far so I just need to keep the faith!
I've been keeping busy washing all his clothes, towels, sheets-everything! Eric started back to work which was a blessing! I think he is the only one who actually benefited from this recession. He got a higher paying job, a higher position and I know his favorite...a corner office. Go Eric! :) I really admire how persistent he was and his strength over these past months. It was scary at times with us both being out of work and having a baby on the way but I truly believe things happen for a reason and things fell into place for him (and all for the best).
Things otherwise have been progressing well. I'm experiencing a lot of swelling in my hands and ankles and the sleepless nights are a given. I've gotten on a pretty routine schedule of getting up every 2 hours to use the bathroom so getting up to breastfeed shouldn't come as that much of a shock to my body! I did end up back in Labor and Delivery a couple of weeks ago. I was running around and the one thing I've been bad with is drinking water. I ended up dehydrated and was having contractions. They gave me an IV of fluid and the contractions subsided. He wasn't as active for a day or 2 but that has certainly picked up again. My dr. appts are now weekly and she is pretty sure he is face down. I feel his little foot or arm poking my right side on a hourly basis. So awesome but so odd at the same time. To know that there is a life inside of me is indescribable. I just never in my wildest dreams imagined that this would be something I would ever experience! So now I'm just waiting. All packed and ready to meet the little man!!

The third and FINAL trimester! Yea!

I am approaching 30 weeks and am now in the third and final trimester. Yea!! Things for the most part have been going smoothly...at least with the pregnancy! We've hit a few bumps along the way since the start of 2009 with both Eric and I being laid off. Eric found a new job and 2 days later I lost mine. He most recently (as of yesterday) was let go again. I swear the poor guy can't win. If anyone is looking for a hard worker with a great marketing background and MBA let me know! While it is not the most ideal situation with a baby on the way we are trying to stay calm and positive especially since we've waited so long for this blessing to occur. Trying not to let anything bring our excitement of being parents down.
I had my bi-weekly check up on Monday. His heartrate was a strong 150, my blood pressure was good (120/80) and he is measuring right on track. I asked the dr. if she could estimate his size but she said it was not accurate. If he is anything like his father I am in trouble. Eric weighed over 9 pounds (I envision a baby with a BIG head!). Sorry Er... My glucose test came back clear but I did end up with a bladder infection (that the dr. didn't notify me about for almost 2 weeks...one of my handful of frustrations with the practice I go to. Plan on switching after he is born). For the most part the unbearable symptoms have passed such as the nausea but they have brought along new symptoms. The stuffy nose still exists along with leg cramps that jolt me awake at night. They feel similar to a Charlie Horse in your calf but radiate from the top of my legs all the way down. If I catch Eric awake at night (which isn't unusual since I apparently snore real loud) he usually rubs my legs. Having been a stomach sleeper for years I have not had a good night sleep in months. I just cannot get comfortable sleeping on my side and with the congestion I turn from side to side depending on which side I can actually breath on. I never realized how difficult carrying some extra pounds would make the simplest things such as getting out of bed and tying my shoes become. Wouldn't trade it for the world but no one really tells you all that your body is going to succumb to when pregnant. Baby G is moving all around. His pattern seems to be early in the morning usually between 6 and 9 and after dinner from 7-10. He sometimes snoozes during the day but other times he is flipping around in the afternoon. It is the weirdest thing to see your belly moving all around like an alien is inside. At first it freaked Eric out but at night I have him put his hand on my stomach so he can feel his son move....so cool!
The nursery is almost done being painted and the furniture arrives on Friday. I am very excited to see everything pulled together! I can't believe it's April already and I only have about 2 and a half months to go. I am so excited to meet the little man and get to know him....